Chapter 6

[1. Anarchy Euphoria][2. Heart Punch][3. Cloak of the Dead][4. Dreamworld]
[5. Someday][6. Tiger Paw][7. Stitch][8. Angel Wings]
[9. die and let die][10. OPEN][11. ]
[12. ][13. ] Back toBOOK INDEX Back to MAIN PAGE

Anarchy Euphoria I?d like to button up all the button down Pretty boy wanna be?s.. Flaming straight public fags? No more sweaters ? The only pull over in style? In the other side of a body bag? One by one corporate thieves? Mowed down under my wheels? Let the workers do their job? Give the field to the mob?.. Anarchy never felt so good?. See the face of the boss ? sliding across the hood?. Blood bath in the parking lot? Never watched the evening news?. Never cared if they knew? Left the bodies in the open? Hoping they?d be viewed?. Oh yes?. Anarchy never felt so good?.. By: MJMansfield 08-30-03 [back to top]

Heart Punch Pain deep below? It feeds on me?. Swelling up and consuming? Why can?t it be? Is it ego that drives me?? Or lust thought dead? What is it growing inside? These thoughts in my head? Why won?t it leave me be? Who is this that taunts? What is this evil breed? Won?t let go?. Blood boiling sweet memories? Cancer that drains my soul? Driving my will away from me? Possessor of my mind? What is this evil thing? So sweet and pure?. What is this love? What sick torture?. Memories of you ?. Taunting me with love? What more could I do? But hide the remains?. Store away dreadful memories? Of that thing you did to me? How dare you make me feel? Those things you made me see?. No more evil in my thoughts?. Keep the sweetness hid? A warrior can?t be burdened this way? Can?t stand the things she did? I can?t stand this weakness?. Must deny it to the end? Waiting for the darkness?. Battle, finally the terror ends? Blood, screams of pain.. Finally I can breathe? Death, Dying, a beautiful scene? Again, Finally, I?m me? The terrors gone?. I am free?.. Death comes soon? Swords raised high? I can be me?. Nightmares over? Blood and sweat over me? Nightmares over? MJMansfield 11-24-03 [back to top]

~~~Cloak of the Dead~~~ (shadows) I wrap myself in the cloak of the dead.. It drives away the stench of the living? It keeps those who judge the surface away.. Those that never understood the giving? They look past me and never care? I walk holding their children?s hands? And they never know I am there? Silent slow forever damned? For my shadows cold .. But my love forever warm? Head high a bit too bold? And they quickly dismiss me?. What boy like this could really matter?.. Dismiss me and I laugh, insane? This boy gently kisses your children as an adder? Ignored me and now I revel in your pain? Yes I wear this cloak of the dead?. Sliding shadow to shadow? A shadow in your mothers bed?. Breathe deep as she breathes shallow? Creep back to your man? Clenching your cold robe tight? look into his eyes?. Kiss him good night, As you crawl into bed.. You smell my breath?. And you know you?ll sleep with the dead?.. You?re scared to look up to see death? So I?ll wait?. At the foot of your bed? Every night until you admit.. You?d rather sleep with the dead?. To live the way you do is true sin? So patiently I wait? Waiting at the threshold to come in? Knowing you can?t wait?. Bloody kisses in the night?. Begging for more than life? Knowing I?ll be gone come sunlight? I couldn?t stay, it isn?t right? You?ll damn them all to my pain?. Your eyes burn with the lust of my touch? They?ll bury you as in insane?. And I?ll slip away once more in the dark? I am everywhere you can imagine and nowhere that you can touch?. I will always be the one you feel?.. Feeding your delusions and stealing your thoughts? Always leaving you to wonder if I was ever even real? MJMansfield 11-2-02 [back to top]

Dreamworld I gave up the other day? And I laid down to die? I became somebody else I fell into a different world And still I was me?. It was a different time? Maybe yesterday or tomorrow? Different names?. But family still remained?. I was bolder in my world? I told my grandfather I loved him.. One more time, and he knew? with a hug and a smile? a familiar laugh and walked away?. I saw children waiting to learn? And people to be loved?. I wanted to leave but I was intrigued? So I went to work?. And I loved? And I taught? I laughed and played?. We danced in the street ? We were scorned because we prayed?. And I laughed as I drifted off to consciousness? I dreamed a different world? And in it I was still me? With all my wants for tomorrow? The vague attempts to see the end? When all the choices were clear again? I was me??. So here I am ? So glad I laid down to die? By MJMansfield 10-23-03 [back to top]

Someday Someday I want to matter?. Instead of volumes of empty thoughts? Or days of endless chatter.. Something more than simply bought? I just want to matter?.. Many days of suicide dreams.. They all have passed me by.. Forget all the peaceful scenes? I?m not really ready to die?. I screamed from every rooftop?. I moaned each dreadful dirge?. Oh I wish that I could stop? Be rid of this awful urge? I am not ready to go?. What mark have I made?. Not a thing to show?. From warrior, mystic, or sage? How many times have I rushed into the flames?. Or driven the car to the edge?. Many thought I lived my life insane? Me & death across the line we?d fudge?. Met him face to face a few times? I?d laugh at him & him at me? Strange friends on a strained line? Dancing on a high wire no ground below to see?. But the days turn cold? And time seems shorter? I?m not quite as bold? And I?m not ready to pay the porter?. Bravado leaves the weakened boy? As time steals days back from the man? And he thinks back at all he was going to do? And time is laying rest to his grand plans? The man starts wondering which thief?s next? And the boy gets scared to dream?. Not sure if it?s gods revenge or a witches hex? But he knows that time is no friend? I Look at the days to come? Wonders I might miss?. The things I should have done? And I pray it doesn?t end like this?. So I gather my things?. One more time bravado and spite? Pray a little magic is left in my wings? And that I have a few more flights?. I want to be daddy for a real long time? I want to be annoying to my wife at night? Loud and obnoxious in a real long line? I want to go out get bent and get tight? But most of all I just want a few more tries? A chance to make a mark that time can?t fade? Just a few more tries?. A chance to be, a chance to make?. What kind of legacy will there be? Any stories that I?d care to read?.. Will there be any thing left to see?? Will any one even remember me??. And I realize all I really want?. Someday I want to matter?. Instead of volumes of empty thoughts? Or days of endless chatter.. Something more than simply bought? I just want to matter?. MJMansfield 11-15-03 [back to top]

Tiger Paw The crouching Tiger in my brain playfully swats away all thoughts of substance?. Leaving only the thin trails of vapory dream like thoughts?.. Battered images of surreal creatures?. Plans of conquest that make no sense?.. A moment of joy that is steeped in sadness? Quickly melt away in a menagerie of clowns and devils?. Each thudding footstep coupled with the calliopes tune? Set of clouds of bomb like fragments inside my skull?. And that tiger just bats the solid figures away?. Like a cook stirring the lumps from the porridge?. Only the wispy images of ether seem solid? Everything else is obliterated?. Only the thinnest mist holds me here?. anything else would set me loose? The tiger bats away the notions of true escape?. Pouncing upon any feeling of self control?. He dances like a kitten with a ball of yarn? Batting my memories around inside?.. I cling to the mist?. Between swipes of his massive paws?. I cling to the mist?.. MJMansfield 4-28-03 [back to top]

Stitch Each ragged wound sealed with care? Finesse skill passion?. The stitch seals the tear?.. Cinching it tight knotted to perfection.. Face pulled back into humanities shadow?. Muscles pulled back to bone?. Skin wraps the arm?. Like a car receiving a fender? All the pieces fall together?. Tolerances of less than a thousandth? Not an inch goes unnoticed?.. Body work hammered into shape?.. The skilled hands?? Patching ?.. Sculpting?.. And all the love poured over his work?. All the work?. And no matter the diligence? No matter the care?.. The motor is broke?.. And the car will not sell? No matter how many adore? Eww and ahh?. The work shall not heal? And it will not last?. It?s destined to fall into the furnace blast? No matter the care?. Stitch after stitch?. A beautiful corpse?. Is all that they?ll have???? MJMansfield 4-29-03 [back to top]

Angel Wings Curly brown hair? Blows against the angels face? He smiles at you? With crystal blue eyes from outer space?. A soft ragged smile draws you in? You gladly sleep inside the scented wings.. A gentle kiss to draw you deeper in? Original sin inside unholy wings?. Caressing all the threats away? You know it?s safe? You hope to die this way? Inside my arms starts a glorious wake? I spread my wings and offer you free flight? You cling to me and burrow in? You came and lost, and you never knew to fight? Relaxing there I slowly breathe you in? Such a Beautiful way to die?. A smile on your face?.. And me arched toward the sky? Gently kissing away your taste? One after the other ?til you?ve slipped away? Leaving behind such a beautiful corpse? Slipping away together before day?. Wings of an angel such a tempting force.. MJMansfield 7-10-04 [back to top]

die and let die Live and let live is all fine when you?re living high?. Try that unique perspective from the bottom of the street? Looking up at all the people that want you to die? Just go away, disappear, never looking, they won?t see? die and let die Wash away the sins with blood die and let die A better day, a better cut Cleanse my soul with their screams Wash away my iniquities Suddenly I feel so clean Living here, see what I see Pretty soon you?ll know Yes soon you?ll think like me die and let die Wipe the tears away with a blood stained cloth Smiles no longer covered by your mainstream pollution Wipe the pain away with a serrated edge Once again made whole by dismemberment When you were young you used to say screw the poor Lazy drunks won?t work, bastards get what they deserve You used to say you?d never live like that I see you laying in the gutter now with a knife Shoulda learned to hold it instead it?s in your back You never knew how right you were Even when you got down on your luck You just never knew the truth you swore? die and let die Wash away the sins with blood die and let die A better day, a better cut Cleanse my soul with their screams Wash away my iniquities Suddenly I feel so clean Living here, see what I see Pretty soon you?ll know Yes soon you?ll think like me die and let die MJMansfield 7-11-04 [back to top]

~~~OPEN~~~ I?m so clean I?m filthy?.. So defective I?m perfect?. I hate you so much.. I?ll love you for ever? And in the darkness I must relieve the pressure?.. I open myself to the terror... I split my skin and I bleed.... I open myself to the horrors... I smile and I am free? I enter the darkness with a bright future? The sky?s the limit for me? As I creep upon the star littered swamps floor? I know that I am free? Some how it changed? The fear the pain the rage? It had to be let out?. Who turned that sinister page? Pain instructions page one? Followed soon by fear and death? Oh my god what have I done? There?s just no more choices left? When did the blood lust get too strong? Why did you open up for me? When did this all go so wrong? Why do I have to feast? I open myself to the terror... I split the skin and it bleeds.... I open myself to the horror... I smile and I am free? I open the door into the night? I pry your eyes open so I can see? I open all the darkness to look inside? I look and there is only me? MJMansfield 8-18-04 [back to top]

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