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[1. Abstract Pile][2. Ride On][3. Corporate wolf][4. God Of Lies]
[5.I Lie][6. Living Dead][7. Machine][8. Mellow out]
[9. My Boy][10. Petrol]
[11. Precision][12. TWISTED] [13. Violence] Back toPOEM INDEX Back to MAIN PAGEAbstract Pile Sitting here upon this pile of shit Mountains of useless stuff…. Surrounding us in these fields of complacency… Encroaching on our abstract senses….. Wave after wave of monotonous crimes… Die with flutterings upon our desks… Mans sins reveal themselves one at a time… Gluttony rings true regardless the charge… Of all the trumped up truths…. And all the sworn lies… This one stands strong…. In our everyday lives…. This one keeps living on…. Never getting weaker…. Day after day stronger… Oh god what can we do?.. The meek shall be washed over… Torn away by the currents… Drowned in the uncaring streams… To inherit the grave…. Sitting here upon this pile of shit Mountains of useless stuff…. Surrounding me in these fields of complacency… Encroaching on my abstract sense... Am I too ignorant to flee… Am I too scared… Is this the way it must be… Should I even be aware… MJMansfield 1-02-04 [back to top]
Ride on I breathe in deep… the fire burns my lungs…. I exhale slowly into a new thought…. Patterns of peace fill me…. Altered view.. Heading into the sunset ….great roads rise up to meet me.. The lift and carry me over the swelling waters… Setting me down upon the snaking back of hard top again… Bright hues of purple and gold…vibration from the maxed out engine... Rattling my teeth and my soul…. It soothes me with vicious screams…. It’s heart beats furiously and mine slow to an idle… Stress fades away and the euphoria creeps deep into every inch of me… The fading light gives way to the symphony of other combatants streaming by… Yellows and reds and bright blue white flashes… The steady clip of the pavement below me tells me I am going safely along The whole time the lights flying at me make me feel as if I rush into oblivion… Easing past the slower steeds.. Slipping by and in front of them… Leaving only the brilliant red glow behind as a fading memory…. Soon I too escape into the darkness… I laugh knowing that to them instead of the truth of the escape I seem to away into the void… I know that they trudge along fleeing the same scene as me… But they never escape into the freeness of peace that I have… I almost pity them….. Almost… Instead…I breathe again…. I smile… I ride on… MJMansfield 3-11-03 [back to top]
Corporate Wolf A warm smile behind corporate lies… The think I’m as dead as them… Behind the cold eyes burns a fire… They have no Idea what I am…. My hair so neat and trim… Perfect shirt and shoes… I will never be one of them… Deciding which ones to use… I gently sweep the crumbs away… Adjusting the seam in my perfect slacks… I smile and I play the game today… I shake their cold gray hands… I take a slow breath… I shake my head in remembrance… I walk hand in hand with death… My gate is a perfect pace… My gentle walk is a power stride… I pick and choose every day… Like the king of the pride… The lion stalks the easy prey… A feigned moment of humility… They will always be beneath me… Calculated civility…. They wait to feed me…. Romantic notions of a corporate climb… Take me, pay for me, bow to me… Another thousand dollar bottle of wine… Alone in my cabin it’s time to feed… They beg to be next in my feast… All jockeying for the chance… Welcome to the bloody beast… Prepare to die for your faked romance… MJMansfield 2-06-04 [back to top
God of Lies I just saw god And he lied to me He said you still cared I spoke to god and he promised me a way to you His Razor sharp fangs clicked as he purred those lies to me As his chosen one what was there I could do God lied to me and he said he loved me too He lied to me, he said he’d give me you It took me a while to see his wisdom He opened a door for me to step through I walked right in and took you My god promised this was true He lied to me and I see his truth in your eyes I do his will and sometimes people die He lied to me and the truth it set me free He lied to me and now you belong to me He walked me to the edge of truth and he threw me over too, as I fell hi slaugh was all I could hear I soon realized there was just one thing to do I gave my will to his truth, in the lie the truth was crystal clear He lies to me and he smiles at me He guides me to where I need to be He lies with me and he clutches me I submit and now I’m free Sweet sweet truth, My god he lied to me My eyes opened to the violent ways Sweet sweet truth, People died for me I thank my victims everyday MJMansfield 2-7-04 [back to top]
I Lie Well I damn sure know the truth But I lie… I lie… And it feels like the right thing to do… I look into your eyes.. And I know you know it too.. I lie And we feed each others fear… You smile… And you act like you care… And I lie…. I lay beside you and we talk… We act like it’s communication… But we know it’s all a front… Because we don’t want another confrontation…. So we lie, and we look into the night… We know we’ll never be satisfied with this… But it feels so good not being right… So we lie, and we come together for another kiss… You smile…. And we agree, someday… I lie… You agree and you smile… I lie… We say our “I Love you’s” .. And we hide our rush to leave… We act like there’s no others And “without you I’d die”.. We leave the room key on the covers… And you go home to hide and cry… I race home to my shower… And I bow my head and pray to die… The only truth I know is…. I lie…. MJMansfield 04-28-04 [back to top]
Living Dead I creep thru my door way in shadows of neon light… Crawling back to this tomb… I wander the streets night after night…. Not once have I found the return to the womb…. I often wonder where did the fire go… Compounded by the question did I have it to start… I wonder after it‘s all gone where will I go… I search but there is no answer in my heart… The TV moonlight drapes across my face… I adjust my pillows and bed sheets…. As I crawl into my resting place…. I resist, but I still crave the dead in the streets… A feeling of revulsion covers me…. As the light cascades upon my broken face… I awake, alive, and I shouldn’t be…. When will I be allowed to leave this forsaken place…. I crawl from my crypt and enter the day…. Coffee pumps in my veins and I stumble forward… Percolating slowly to work I make my way… Smiling at corpses that pass me in the corridor… One more day of going thru the motions…. My mind rots under the heavy weight of paper… Shuffling pile to pile move the victims like silt in the ocean… Knowing that they too are dead and probably will never wake up… Knowing I carry each victim under… Down the hall They wait for you your honor… Waiting for the hammer sound like thunder… Slack jawed, open eyes, I giggle whoops another organ donor… I crawl slowly from my torture rack… Turn of my computer and turn off the lamp… Don’t worry halls of justice tomorrow I’ll be back… again down the highway and my favorite ramp… I sit at this bar every night watching and waiting… I’ll drink a bit much and stumble along… Laughing at dead men struggle with dating…. The bar keep he calls crawl along home now don’t take too long… And soon I’ll be creeping again, into my tomb… While the blue neon shadows my face… Smell the familiar smell of my death as I lay in my room… I laugh and I cry and I stare into space… MJMansfield 1-3-04 [back to top]
Machine So glad to be a part of the machine Never did I feel so alive Dying quickly as the needles pierce me As the fluids pump me full of improvement Filling my soul with relief And my body full of sweet pain Sweet punctures riddle my flesh Blood stained sheets are my haven Safe in the cocoon of the oblivious I wrap myself into myself And no one matters this afternoon I let the machines take me And they make me A better me, for you I relax and I cease And slowly forget to fight So much easier to slide into the gears Ground up, incorporated Thank god I am part of the machine MJMansfield 3-3-04 [back to top]
Mellow Out Just another simple day as I wander round… birds in the sky and dogs on the ground.. Get a little smoked and they turn around.. I’m so high I don’t think I’ll be found… Floating out the way of everyone… And I think I’ll smile till I burst .. look out, here comes the sun…. Burned up and burned out … but I think I’m doing alright…. My mom still loves me and my brothers still care… So we twist up another slice of heaven and we light the moon….. here we come Jesus … we’ll be there before noon… I toke it up fast and I slowly exhale…. I just pray we don’t crash .. I’m stoned and I think the cops could tell… So we tell another joke at the stoplight and we giggle till we piss our pants… shit it don’t matter … crank the radio up that’s Robert Plant… In our little bio-dome from hell… Riding thru your neighborhood get out the way…. We go a hundred miles an hour standing still… Paranoid so were going ‘bout a block a week…. Heads are bobbing wildly to Jimmy Page… We need a bag of munchies… I haven’t been paid in about a week… We perform civic service for our neighbor Jim.. We cleaned out his fridge.. His old lady thought it was him…. The ham went quick and potato salad had no chance… Took a minute longer to figure what to do with moldy egg plant…. Brother Ronnie won the game…. We dried it up in the microwave… Diced it, rolled it up and gave it the flame…. Burning yes I’m burning, burning today…. I missed that interview at the store again… That’s ok cause I’m really sure that dude was gay… So I roll another one and I blow it up… Another perfect day.. Ending it just like it began… Turn it up dude that’s Marvin Gaye… Mmm gonna mellow out what a way to end… 1-10-04 MJMansfield [back to top]
My Boy I arrive home in the dark… I hear a whining child in the back seat… All I can think is, to his mother.. Get him something to eat… He like his daddy unwinds from the day…. I seem to die as he gains in strength… Faster and faster he churns under way… Did I really bargain for this … I hear the first giggle.. A ray of blue light… I smile a bit… I forget a bit of the dark of night… I crawl from my couch to his earnest call… Then the first “DADDY!”… Bright red rays seem to fall…. Following after to see what’s a foot… C’mon he says and scampers away… One weak step then another…. I follow slowly but off I go to play… Building up steam I catch up to the fiend.. The first real smile… Blossoms of yellow and teal… I giggle myself… A quick hug I steal… He squirms away quickly … Laughing and squeals…. He’s bound towards the ‘puter… The flashing picture of Nemo is all too real… He climbs into my chair and calls me to play… “Want Nemo daddy” His shining eyes blow away the rest of the gray… Violet and warm greens wash over my soul… As soon as I learn the game… “Want drums daddy help please“…. Not a minute of any night ever the same.. I dance in his rainbow it‘s all that I need… I play till I’m weak… and he’s too tired but goes on… Luckily momma knows when… And slowly play time is done… Darkness closes in… I put my sunshine to bed… Lights go off he sparkles still… I smile big and tear up as I kiss his sweet head… My terror… My buddy… My sweet heart and more… My hero… My sunshine… Rainbow… My Boy… MJMansfield 1-5-04 [back to top]
Petrol Sitting in a pan of burning petrol… Smoke slowly clears my thoughts… Coughing from the cold.. Living in this season of undeniable pain… I shiver from the thought of you… Frozen in place no matter what you do.. Eyes glazed over and searching the empty sky… Even though I know you’ll come from the underground… There’s no way that you could know this… My physique doesn’t give it away… But I’m in excellent shape for a dead man… And here I am standing today… Don’t you dare accuse me of prejudice… I hate you equal to the other scum here… When we all go down I hope you come with me… I’d hate to think you went and no one got to see.. My life laying in a burning pan of petrol… But for now I’ll just sit and pray… My soul freezing from the lack of life… Hell isn’t a future, it’s in me every day… Throw a blanket over me… It’s so cold and they all like to stare… As we lay in the middle of the street… Slack jaw smile and cold, cold, eyes.. Searching empty skies…. Cold in the burning pan… Empty soulless eyes… I’m afraid to be happy, it’s the end… 1-10-04 MJMansfield [back to top]
Precision Damaged.... Perfectly made .... every defect precision crafted Timed from the very start … A godly weapon that shall fall apart… Mighty warrior tool of death…. Crafted to fail from the start… Etched in bronze templates… Burned onto the steel shell…. Perfect little errors… That will take this ship to hell…. Titanium skull plate can’t save it… The errors run to deep… Built for destruction…. Mighty mighty weak….. It’s diodes are perfect… Designed to fry at 5.… Every electron in place… Yet all synapses die… Perfect design…. Built to go so far… Right down the line… No matter where you are… PERFECT DESIGN… Guaranteed to fail… Perfectly designed… This heaven is it’s hell… Perfectly crafted.. Every flaw in place… Masters hand adapted.. Chrome bleeds from it’s face… If you see it coming … Stay out of it’s way…. A man encased in living stone… Warrior bred to fail….. With steely resolve… He marches into hell… Teeth grit and bone… He’s designed to fail… Blood Spit and bone… Designed to fail… This life is all he’s known…. MJMansfield 4-27-4 [back to top]
TWISTED I have a fevered mind And an ice cold will Shivers up my spine And I can’t sit still I’m running out of time It’s freezing cold I think my mind is burning out of control I’m in love with a girl named lust And the more she cares The less I can trust I can’t tell if she’s ruining me It’s always the last supper here and I always stand convicted My life’s a painting of beautiful fear Feels so perfect with her holding my hand It’s always just a hair bit twisted Run wild for years lusting for love Wasn’t paying attention and it stood up and bit me I watch in fear of the blood thirsty dove All my views, perfectly clear I pray for the night time The things in the daytime fill me with fear Thank god for my shadows as I slink thru the day Twisted am I, surely you jest I know black’s white and white’s red sure enough I pass because I’m smart enough to fail every test I stay classified as a non-threat and you scoff I win as a loser I’d freeze in their heat I burn with desire That someday will defeat Twisted I am, Proud of the fact No matter what you are I use no guile or tact And somehow just somehow I’m always in front MJMansfield 01-06-04 [back to top]
Violence Each tender kiss wrapping it’s tendrils ‘round me…. Each slow caress brings it into focus…. Each gentle hug drowns me…. Each touch explodes in my soul…. Your soft words… Bring violence… Each solemn word…. Violence… Your kind ways…. Violent.. Soft eyes …. Violent…. Your Crimson lips so soft and cruel… The way they said it thousands of times… The way that they say I love you…. They drive me out of my mind…. The way you know I give all of me to you…. Your violence.. The way you twine my heart into you… Violence… Love you, love you till I bleed… Give you all there is of me…. You know the way you own me… I’ll give you what you need… Your sweet kisses leave me beaten…. Your kind eyes stalk me now…. Your hugs drag me down…. Your love keeps me bound…. Beaten, no will to resist… All the things I adore around me… Bound to all those things I treasure… Everything I need is here… No matter what I want… Violence…. You keep me where I need… Violence… The curling smoke from my burning soul…. The way I choke on these words of love… The way you shelter me from eternal cold… It grips me and want let me go…. Your gentle touch shakes me to the core… Everything I ever asked for…. You’ve thrown out the door…… You’ve given me all of you to adore… It scares me how violent love feels…. It ruins me to believe…. It scares me to shake in loves grip…. It has me believing this is how it should be…. MJMansfield 1-2-04 [back to top]-->
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